I Had To Hit Rock Bottom Before Rising

Photo + HMU by: Marie Le

I had my first psychotic episode at the age of 14.
Looking back, I was hearing voices.
I had auditory and visual hallucinations.
I attempted and tried to end my life.
At the age of 19, I was raped by my then boyfriend.
It took me a long time (not days, months..but years) to realise I was raped back then.
I didn’t know what was rape and the definition of it.
At the age of 19, I had my first mental health ward admission.
At the age of 19, I spent a good 3 months in this ward.
The first month I was on suicide watch.
Around the age of 21 or so (if I remember right), I was excluded from Nursing for continuous academic failures.
I failed many things in life I feel (at that time) - like in work, study, personal and romantic relationships.
But you know, I would NOT change with what happened to me - all the ‘bad’ things that happened to me.
Finally, I rose from the shadows and found my place and purpose in life.
Through my suffering and pain, I am able to educate myself and help others with their mental health in unique and creative ways.
I am very valued as a Mental Health Peer Support Worker - in my current two jobs. I am a big asset for the team and beyond.
If I didn’t go through all those ‘failures’, I would not be here writing this and you reading it.
You are part of my journey now.
There will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.
I tell myself everyday, “Don’t give up, Suzanne.”