I can't believe one year has passed already since coming to this mental health rehabilitation place. I have learnt and experienced so much. I have failed at times in my mental health recovery, and every experience whether it's good or bad is a lesson to be learnt I believe. I choose to stay positive, despite some challenges and hiccups along the way.

I remember I used to be really unwell. Like, really unwell. Unwell to the point I would update my status updates on Facebook, "feeling suicidal". I feel looking back, I was partly looking for attention... and on the other hand, I was crying for help. The comments I received when I updated my statuses were a bunch of friends who were worried and asked me if I was ok, and some even specifically said to me to "chin up" which didn't help much to be honest. Of course I did not reply to the messages anymore that I find not helpful. I feel looking back, my status updates were more of passive-aggressive threats. To see who would truly care about me and actually be there for me. Even one friend who I barely spoke to knew where I lived, and almost called an ambulance to my place to see I was okay.

My confidence didn't happen overnight. As a teenager, like any other, I was trying to find myself and I got lost in the midst of it all. It didn't help that I was good at masking my feelings and emotions. I never shared to people when I was feeling down when I was younger, as I thought it was a weakness. But no - it wasn't that I was weak, but instead, I was strong for far too long.

• In reality, I could never be fully happy and satisfied with my body shape and size. When I was "skinny", I would want to eat more and so I can gain weight. This was before I started on antidepressants - I had a really thin physique before I hit 19 - one of the time I had my first bunch of mental health breakdowns and learnt about Depression and all these mental health illnesses.

I hear voices at times, and I at times hallucinate. See things that aren't there, feel things that may be a 'figment of my imagination'. Or is it just another diagnosis there for me to take medications? Whether I have been diagnosed with Bipolar or Schizophrenia, I feel some symptoms can overlap in some places. I have been taking medications for almost a decade now. I am a little tired of medications at most points in my life, but I feel now I have the right combination of medications at least.

I learnt the importance of medications and I get educated by doctors and nurses on how having them to help me. I feel like I have tried every single antidepressant and antipsychotic so far, including valium. If I wanted to have a medication withdrawal, this would be the 'best' place to have it I reckon, cause there is support and the doctors and nurses work really hard to be on the same page as me.

I have learnt to have a Safety Plan which includes to see what are my warning signs and symptoms when things 'get out of whack'. Also steps to take when I am feeling distressed. Living in a self-contained one bedroom unit has taught me a lot of things. Things like recognising when you're feeling your symptoms are getting too much of you and you need to contact the nursing staff for help. I go to the exercise programs here, and they really work you hard. I have learnt to enjoy it actually.

It wasn't your fault that you chose the wrong man to date. It wasn't your fault you got raped and abused. He was never good to you, but yet you wanted to forgive him but you couldn't. You wish you knew you were strong enough to withstand anything that would come your way. You knew it was not easy to have relapses, and you didn't want to believe something was wrong with you.

I ended being in the hospital for mental health issues up until a bit of New Years - and for treatment especially. My doctors have noticed how unwell I have been in the last few weeks, and was concerned about me. No matter how many times I have fallbacks, I tell myself to stay positive and treat myself as much as I need it or even more during these times of hardships.

My parents divorced when I was six. And I am stronger because of it. I have learnt to survive for myself, although I am a little rough around the edges, I am still able to live through the year, and will continue to do so. I have found my purpose in life, what I love, what I enjoy. Also, my coping strategies when I am having a rough day such as hearing voices. I still see my parents and I still love them. I don't blame them for what happened, it was meant to happen, and only God knows what should happen or not.

Recently they have caused a lot of stress and distress in my life and been escalating, to the point I was admitted into emergency mental health for them. My sleeping pattern has been good, I eat a 3-meal balanced diet, I exercise, I take medications and the question is why do I still hear voices? Wish I would knew with a click of a finger, but in all honesty I don't. What I do know is that I had some traumatic events happened in my life.

I always wanted to be independent in every way since I was a teenager. I knew what I wanted to be in life, how much income I wanted, who I wanted to support and how much to give back. I fixed my eyes on the goal and never looked back. Until the time I had my first episode of Depression, life became to crumble before me. No more solid career paths, no more being able to support my grandparents when I was the one who needed the support.

My recent check-in into the mental health ward challenged my religion and faith. For those who don't know, I am a Christian and I believe it's important to share the love of God wherever you go - practice it like a lifestyle. At times I think I am a 'bad Christian' and I don't pray for people even when I get that prompting from God. But during this admission to this ward, I have had the opportunity to pray for a few.

Seeing a friend be in there with me was a whole new level of overwhelmingness. I have seen this friend on her good days, during volunteering days. Now I didn't know the severity of her condition when I first saw her on the ward, but she 'seemed ok', and was being social with everyone, talking to everyone which could have been a good thing.

I have been unemployed for over a year, and been looking for a job. Since the last episode I have lost my confidence, my self-esteem is never the same again and I have a lot of time on my hands too. So I decided that for this month that a mental health month is ideal and crucial for my recovery. For those who are new to the concept of mental health month/s, it's a concept where you basically spend time to recover, revive, rejuvenate yourself emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually

When I was younger I used to think I was on the right path before my first diagnosis of Depression. I have always been quite a positive person - so I've been told. I'm fierce and active in resolving and finding solutions for my problems, I am enthusiastic in my struggle and recovery with mental illnesses. I wasn't much of a complainer.

As a Christian, I have made the mistake of using the wrong kind of prayer for certain issues I have. From using a prayer of deliverance when I should have just asked God for something simple as peace and calmness over me when I was in the midst/road to of feeling suicidal. Either way, I think for me it's important to pray whenever I am having a problem.

If you asked me three years ago what sort of guy I was attracted to, I would tell you someone with high intelligence, had a heart for people and was overall 'stable'. If you asked me now who I would choose, I would not hesitate and confidently say someone who loves Christ as much as I do. Before becoming a Christian (I used to be a Buddhist), I didn't plan/asked/expected to be raped by my first love.

I clearly remember when you told me to quit changing things. To quit making extensions on assignments that were 'simple' just because I couldn't keep up with the class and preparation work of the assignment. I may have forgotten what the other things you said, but I haven't forgotten about how you made me feel. I felt my last two years of high school was a living hell.

Photo by Erin Smith

I told in a recent interview with SBS (Vietnamese) that I didn't set out to be a mental health blogger. I never set out to be excluded from Nursing in University. If anything, I set out to become a registered nurse and help as many people as I can professionally. When I was excluded from nursing, I mentioned in the interview that it was my most traumatic experience in my life back then